Beer, Slugs, and Picasso Petunias

Late in the afternoon, you can find my wife walking around the yard with a can of beer in her hand. This is unusual given that neither she nor I imbibe in the brew. In fact, the strongest thing we drink is Buffalo Rock Ginger Ale, Birmingham, Alabama’s premier soft drink.

What has driven her to this is war? An ongoing battle to defend her ubiquitous flowers from the onslaught of slugs that slime their way up the pots and plants to nibble away at the tender leaves and petals. After trying a host of deterrents, beer seems to be the most effective and it matters not the brand or cost. The cheapest beer possible works just fine.

Upon entering this battle, she thought it would be a few quick skirmishes and she would wipe out the invading horde with overwhelming firepower (or in this case hops-power). Not so.  This has developed into a protracted war.

Every day, just before dusk, you can see her walking around the yard with a can of beer in hand.  She fills the 14 or 15 little bowls she has strategically placed among her cherished plants and then awaits the next day. She should have kept track of the body count, for every morning there are 3 to 7 dead slugs in each bowl. They crave the beer so much they crawl into the bowls and drown.

The moral of the story: Don’t be a slug! Drink responsibly or don’t drink at all. We choose to do the latter.

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